// I like food. A lot. And I’m pretty picky, too. Not about not eating my veggies although there are a few that have me being sneaky in front of my kids like I used to be in front of my parents. But what I’m really picky about is getting good food, quality ingredients and unique combinations that surprise me and make me say, “Wow, I never thought to put those flavors together!”
On the other hand, I am a mom with four kids, homeschooling, and living in a place where if I want to eat it, I’ve pretty much got to make it all… from scratch. Like those yummy donuts that lasted 90 seconds in my mouth? 3 hours of work.
Anyway, I’ve learned to scarf down something, anything, really fast just to get some calories in me before I’m on to the next thing. I am actually trying to work on slowing down even in my eating these days.
And then there are days where I just can’t be bothered to pull something together so I don’t eat. I put it off until my blood sugar drops and I am suddenly sick and hot and dizzy and feel like I’ve come down with the stomach flu.
I’ve learned to keep some easy snacks around the house, in the car, even my purse or diaper bag, just to avoid those moments. A few almonds here, some peanuts there, raisons, and bananas. Bananas are the best fruit. In a place where we have to wash every.stinkin.bite. of fresh produce with vinegar or bleach before we eat it, bananas are gold. Peel and eat. Viola! The magic fruit. Who cares how they taste? That is completely beside the point.//
But I digress. This isn’t just a frivolous bit on food, I promise. The thing is, I was just realizing how my habits with bodily food mirror my habits with spiritual food. There are some lessons for me to learn there.
For instance, I am picky about my spiritual food. I don’t want a measly 10 minute quiet time. That is like a drink of water before you start a meal. That’s just getting started. I feel like a failure, and like I’m still hungry, if I stop there.
Also, I don’t want to get up from my quiet time until I’ve really been deeply impacted by some truth in God’s word. I want to get up changed or else it didn’t work!
But, again, being a mom with my kids home with me all day every day, living in a place where the unexpected interruptions are expected, where daily tasks take more time than I am used to from my growing up years… all these things mean I don’t get to have my picky preferences about my spiritual food.
I don’t often get the hour+ stretches of quiet time that I used to get pre-kids. I don’t get to sit down to write and wrestle with my thoughts, uninterrupted, until I get them back in line. (Unless I sit up late at night, like right now! Ha!) I don’t have the freedom to sit and muse over the truths I am sorting through at leisure until the lightening moment when it all clicks.
So I can be prone to put off partaking of my spiritual food altogether, waiting for the “better quality” that I crave. And then? My spiritual blood sugar crashes. I am suddenly in a whirl of emotions and fears that make me dizzy and sick and I can’t seem to find my footing on the foundation that I know is there, but I’ve lost my bearings and I can’t stand up steadily on it.
I was sheepishly surprised this week when I made the time to “get my calories in” more regularly even though it wasn’t the “quality” that I prefer and found that… I had far fewer spiritual blood sugar crashes! (Hit the forehead moment.) I was more steady and even-keeled than I had been over the last few weeks, though I still struggled with plenty of stressors and the not-enough-hours syndrome that is just a constant for any mom.
My circumstances didn’t change, in some ways they were more difficult, but for the most part my heart didn’t crash into various forms of negativity because of a lack of spiritual calories.
I still have a way to go, oh goodness a LONG, LONG way to go, but what a joy to take another step on the journey of finding satisfaction and nourishment in the Bread of Life!
I am continuing on with my Write 31 Days theme of "31 Days to Slowing Down and Living More Simply" with reflections based on my reading of Emily P. Freeman's book Simply Tuesday and the prompts given at the FMFW page. My "Five Minute Free Write" portion will be enclosed with // and any extra thoughts will follow.